Deadpool's new toy
by DarkPheonix 666
Summary: After giving up on the impossible relationship between him and death; Deadpool decides its time to move on. While out on a night excursion he catches a glimpse of the seductive webbed vigilante. Desperate to win her favor he does everything he can to get her attention. DeadpoolxSpiderwoman, Wade WilsonxOC, (Lemon/smut later)
1. Chapter 1

Deadpool sat atop a building quietly; he was in a troubled state of anger, depression and frustration. His relationship with Death was falling apart and he was having doubts on if it would even last.

She was the embodiment of death; the ending of life and a being that claimed human souls. The only time he could see her is when he killed someone for hire and came to collect the body; either that or he tried to kill himself to which he got a few hours with her before healing.

He was growing tired of the emotional turmoil he was going through; plus she was always so distant. They had strong emotions for one another but no matter how hard he reached she was always out of his grasp.

"Maybe it's time I moved on" Wade muttered under his breath. While she had a body _literally_ worth dying for; she had even stated it wasn't healthy for him to solely put his attention towards her. Being an immortal god of death itself; she had century's worth of intelligence. While Wade was very dear to her she had made insinuations that she was not the right woman for him.

It was hard for him; he had been in multiple marriages and had been with many women; but of all of them Death and his first love Copycat were of the closest to his heart. It was hard for him to accept but some things were not meant to be.

They were the only women to have looked upon his mutated and scarred face without disgust or fear. They loved all of him and loved him regardless of the walking tumour he was.

"I wonder if there is anyone out there for me" Deadpool thought to himself as he gazed up at the starry sky.

Suddenly he heard someone running; quick and agile steps coming in his direction. They were not headed at him; but more they were coming his way. He sat where he was calmly; it's not like he was unarmed and he could kick their ass within a second.

Eventually a figure in a red and blue styled bodysuit; with black spider patterns back flipped onto the building across from him. She landed effortlessly in a crouching position once reaching the top of the building.

Wade could only stare in awe utterly speechless; for the longest time he had admired Spiderwoman as his hero. Like him she did her job to keep criminals off the street; only she did it to be a hero and he was paid to. However they were both hated by society and had few people who actually liked him.

However he had not expected her to be so...so damn hot. She had a great curvy figure which was complimented well by her tight suit. Long lean legs with a voluptuous rear that would make any guy look twice. But he was more drawn to her very well proportioned bosom that looked great in that suit.

" _Holy crap it's Spiderwoman! We gotta say hi and ask for an autograph!"_ Voice one cried excitedly.

"Then I could have it framed or put in my drawer" Deadpool said excitedly his tone practically squealing. However not loud enough for the web slinger to hear him (thank god)

" _ **Please; Like Spiderwoman would give us the light of day. That girl is way out of our league"**_ _Voice two stated coldly._

"We don't know that; she could love crazy dudes" Deadpool muttered crossly. Hell Death and Vanessa had stayed loyal to him despite him being a nut; so why wouldn't she?

" _Yeah; Girls love crazy guys! And we're all types of crazy!"_ Voice one stated proudly.

"Not to mention charming as all hell" Deadpool stated proudly his ego somewhat present. He was very proud of the fact many women had wanted a piece of the D-pool; it meant he was still a catch.

" _ **Unless we annoy the hell out of her with our motor mouth"**_ Voice two reminded him crossly.

"Cable likes our motor mouth" Deadpool said firmly. His voices were starting to annoy him now but he still wanted to meet the voluptuous Spiderwoman in person.

" _ **Cable doesn't have to put up with us every day because he time travels"**_ Voice two answered back.

Deadpool sighed heavily; he was growing tired of the ongoing conversation in his head. He just wanted some peace and quiet for a while. He picked up his gun; pulled the trigger and shot himself in the head.

Suddenly everything went quiet; he felt a ringing in his head as the bullet passed through his brain. Eventually the ringing stopped and blackness surrounding him and the annoying voices stopped. He felt his body fall forwards slowly before everything went black and lost all feeling.

 _ **A short time later**_

" _Wade...Wade"_ a smoky seductive and oh so familiar voice said in his ear gently. He knew who that voice was without even having to say her name.

"Hey sugar skull; it's been a long time" Wade said fondly his tone hinting playfulness.

" _It has been some time since I have looked upon your broken shell; how are you my sweet tumour?"_ Death cooed softly stroking her lovers face fondly.

His head was laid upon her lap as she knelt before him in whatever void they were in; as per their meeting would be short but sweet.

"All the better to see these babies" Wade said gleefully. He snaked his arm around her waist and buried his face in her busty bosom.

Death chuckled in amusement; he was one of the few humans she had become fond of. He was not like the other boring humans out there; he was unpredictable and wild.

" _And you've gotten bigger_ " she cooed seductively grabbing his crotch. If he were dead she would finally be able to enjoy his embrace; sadly that day would never come.

" _She's massaging our sack!"_ Voice 1 screamed loudly joy flowing through him.

" **This situation had indeed escalated quickly"** Voice two said his tone aroused yet awkward.

" _Someone is waiting for you; so I think it's about time you woke up"_ She said thoughtfully her voice playful.

"Wait; what?!" Wade said confused but was snapped out of his dream instantly.

 _ **In present time**_

"Hey! Hey are you alright?! A voice yelled loudly in his ear. It was female but not one he recognized.

His head was ringing and he could hear his brain mending itself; yet again his time with Death had been short but sweet. He really needed something better to do with his time than this.

"Ugh...what?" he mumbled weakly his head buzzing and the world vaguely coming back into colour. His vision was blurry but it was slowly coming back to normal; back to the real word.

"Oh thank god! I saw you fall off that roof neighbouring me and I saved you from your fall; if not you'd have been human road kill" the female voice said again.

Wade's vision returned and his eyes nearly popped out of skull and his heart raced like a jackhammer. Holding him in their warm embrace with a look of concern was none other than the web slinging babe he had seen not long ago.

"OH MY GOD! YOU'RE SPIDERWOMAN!" Deadpool yelled loudly excitement evident in his voice. Not long ago he had been nuzzled in death's soft bosom; now he was in Spiderwoman's shapely bosom.

He buried his face into her chest wrapping his arms around her waist. Perhaps shooting himself hadn't been so bad; he had been saved by the web slinging babe of his dreams!

Spiderwoman frowned at the merc now motor-boating her chest; she was relieved he was fine but was not so happy about his perverted antics. However part of her was touched she had a fan; not many people liked her nowadays.

She slowly squeezed out of his grasp and got to her feet "I'm...uh...glad you're feeling better. You really should be careful atop tall buildings" she stammered awkwardly.

She wasn't really used to being the most popular girl in the world; at work the only guy who paid her attention was her perverted boss. Any other guy ignored her or was taken; they apparently didn't like nerds.

Other than that she had recently broken up with long time crush Marcus James; her old neighbour and ex flame. Their breakup had hit her hard and she had cut ties with him after he decided to move to another city.

Deadpool noticed the blush she was trying to hide; he may have not been able to see her face but her cheeks practically burned through the mask. "God she's so cute" he thought to himself eagerly.

She was about to head back to her apartment; after catching some thieves it had been relatively quiet. Her plan for the rest of the evening was go home; get changed into something more comfy and eat.

"Say Spidey; I was wondering if you wanna hang out sometime?" Wade asked casually. He was not going to let such a babe slip through his fingers.

Spiderwoman said nothing utterly speechless; this night was just one surprise after another. Not that she hated it; but she was sure he was just messing with her. "I...I kinda have a tight schedule; A lot of things keep me busy nowadays" she said awkwardly.

It wasn't really a lie; between being a superhero, looking after her ailing aunt May and working for the daily bugle. Life was very hectic; she was lucky if she got enough sleep let alone free time.

Wade pouted sadly but he could tell from her tone she wasn't lying; he may not have been able to see her face but her eyes said it all. However he wasn't going to give up yet; Wade Wilson was not a quitter.

He pulled a scrap of paper from his belt; he then quickly jotted down his number. He passed the paper to a very confused looking Spiderwoman. "Next time you get bored or got time to kill; gimme a buzz" he said quickly throwing in a little wink at the end.

Spiderwoman looked at the paper quietly; she then pulled the neck of her suit and placed the paper underneath. The paper crinkled under her suit and it slightly scratched her skin but it wasn't too annoying.

"I know this sounds kinda cheeky since we just met..." Deadpool began quickly.

Spiderwoman raised her eyebrow; she had saved his life, taken his number and ignored his little assault earlier. What else did this guy want from her?

"But...Um; I kinda need to get to the ground. I don't fancy trying a stunt like earlier by trying to reach the ground" he explained awkwardly his tone somewhat joking.

She suddenly realized what he was trying to get at; he needed a lift to the streets "Oh right; you need a lift" she said suddenly. With that she grabbed Deadpool's utility belt and shot some webbing at a building; before he knew it Deadpool was soaring through the air by his trousers with his idol.

Deadpool screamed loudly at first but eventually his fear turned to adrenaline. He was soaring through the city at night held by his belt by Spiderwoman. This night just couldn't get any better. "BEST DAY EVEEEERRRR!" He screamed at the top of his voice while Spiderwoman just sighed and rolled her eyes.

Eventually she reached a small apartment block above a back alley; the roof was dark so nobody would see her. She dropped the merc onto the ground to which he landed with a loud oof.

She then shot some of her web wanting to escape while she could; she already felt uncomfortable from their little intimate session earlier. She then leapt off the building into the night.

"Call me!" Deadpool called loudly as she vanished into the night. He really wanted to see that booty-licious web slinger again.

" _I really hope she calls; her blushing face was so cute"_ Voice one chirped excitedly.

" **Considering we motor-boated the poor girl; I doubt she very much will"** Voice 2 said bluntly.

Deadpool said nothing and simply lay there for a short while revelling in his happy moments "Yeah she's gonna call".


	2. C2: Deadpool's angel

Spiderwoman landed on her balcony with an effortless squat. Despite her nerdy behaviour at work she was actually quite agile. She sighed heavily and straightened up slowly; a few people had called out at her while she was heading home.

She closed the doors to her balcony and pulled off her mask sighing as fresh air hit her skin. It did get quite hot underneath the suit even if he was breathable material; it was why she owned so many in case one was covered in filth.

"God I need a shower" she muttered crossly. She felt so gross and sweaty; plus she had got covered in that Deadpool guys blood upon catching him. Hell she felt kind of gross considering he kind of motor-boated her.

She stripped out of her Spiderwoman costume and threw it in the wash; she then walked about in her comfy black bra and boy shorts. She didn't mind girly underwear but only for special occasions; she was a tomboy at heart.

Her phone was lying on the bedside table; it was glowing with unread messages. She had only one friend Harry Osborn; they had been friends for years but it had been dented by Michael James.

After their breakup Harry had been as supportive as he could have been; but Harry was openly bi and had previously dated him. Afterwards their relationship was awkward but he finally got over the guy.

Now he just helped her with her own life; they were still best friends but he hinted at an interest in her. However the latter only saw him as a friend which made things kind of awkward.

She skimmed over the phone quietly they were mainly from her boss and Aunt may. Nothing special which wasn't surprising; she didn't get many calls nowadays.

" _Got new story for ya Parker"-J Jameson_

" _Eve; I hope you are taking care of yourself. I know how hard you push yourself"-Aunt May_

Behind the mask of her superhero costume; Spiderwoman was actually a young office worker named Evelyn Parker. She had been named so by her parents but preferred the nickname "Eve".

She had gotten teased horribly about it in high school for it being so old fashioned; which caused her a lot of grief. Later on after he Uncle Ben had taught her she was named after the first woman "Eve" she softened.

After that she learned to own it and became more openly tomboyish. Yes people still teased her but the fair few commended her for standing up for herself. The only reason she hated it now was because her boss used it to patronize her with sexual harassment.

She shuddered in disgust at the memory of her boss. He was a hard working, bossy, no nonsense boss. She was a somewhat ditzy but very intelligent worker who found great stories. However when she messed up he would scold her but make offers to make up for it.

She growled angrily at the memory; she hated how he was such a sexist asshole sometimes. The only reason she didn't beat the asshole was because of how easily she could be fired. Her pay was enough to pay the rent but not enough to buy luxury items or live in a fancy house.

With that she stormed to the bathroom angrily; she needed to clear her head and body. Showers also doubled as a stress relief next to a hygienic purpose; there was just something soothing about it.

Eve slammed the door behind her crossly; she had no need to lock it as she lived alone. It was kind of nice having freedom to do what you wanted without being pestered 24/7.

"I _hate_ my life" she muttered crossly. While she was grateful for the small things such as her loving aunt and close friend Harry; not all things were great for her.

Her boss constantly sexually harassing her, the hateful bashing she received in newspapers, the amount of villains after her life (and sometimes body), her heartbreaking break-up with MJ and loss of loved ones.

Yes she had received a hell of a lot of trauma in her life; but she tried not to act like an attention seeker about it. She used them to help her become a better person and build on herself. However she did wish that there were some loyal people out there that would stand beside her.

She stripped out of her last clothing items and stepped into the shower. As she switched on the hot water her body released a long held in sigh. All the gymnastic abilities she used as a hero did wear out her body.

Hell she was lucky if she had time to sleep or eat most days; her life was so demanding it was insane. The few times the city was actually peaceful did she manage to get sleep or eat properly.

She rinsed and washed her brown locks and sweaty body; god it felt good to be clean again. Though she begged her not to; her Aunt would sometimes give her money just to help afford some expenses. To repay her Eve took her out to lunch when she had free time or bought her flowers.

"I think I need another job" she muttered crossly. It was bad enough being a superhero was demanding and she also worked for the daily bugle. Her shifts at the Bugle were few and far between; she only worked part time on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays as they very rarely needed her.

Even working the 8 hours she did on those days it wasn't enough to rake in the cash she needed. This meant she would have to look for another job; she just hoped she wouldn't have to demean herself.

Slowly she reached for the shampoo and started scrubbing; she would have to worry about this later. Right now she needed to just enjoy what free time she had at this point in time.

 _ **Afterward**_

Eve wondered out of the bathroom quietly; she was wrapped in a pink fluffy towel which ended at her upper thigh. Her head was covered by another towel which she was enthusiastically drying her hair with.

She walked over to the bed quietly and picked up her phone. She then decided to reply back to her messages. After all if she didn't her boss would lose his shit; but then again when did he not?

 _Eve to Jameson-"Sure what you got for me boss?"_

 _Eve to Aunt May-"I'm doing ok Aunt May; Working hard as per"_

She could handle her boss fine; what she didn't want was her aunt worrying about her too much. She was a kind hearted woman but she was elderly; which meant she was fragile. Being the only family Eve had left she didn't want to lose her anytime soon.

Eve paced around the room quietly; she would pull something on in a bit; right now she just wanted to relax. However little did she know; she was being watched by someone.

 _ **Outside**_

Deadpool sat outside on the roof quietly; he was using his binoculars to spy on people. He hadn't got a job in a while so he had plenty of free time to kill. He hummed quietly as he peered over the dimly lit city watching people scurry about.

So far he had caught a breakup between two people (which he eventually got bored of), briefly watched cartoons at some person's apartment but so far nothing else was catching his attention.

"God I wish something interesting would happen" he muttered crossly. Usually he would shoot himself to kill time with death; but he wasn't up for that right now.

" _Maybe we could call Spiderwoman"_ Voice one gushed excitedly.

Deadpool growled crossly "That would be an idea if we had her number". He had given her his but she hadn't called so far.

" _ **We forget superheroes have their own lives. She doesn't spend every waking moment fighting crime"**_ Voice 2 chided crossly.

"Fudge knuckles" Deadpool cursed bitterly. His own free time consisted of gaming, eating Mexican food and having one night stands. He had ALOT of free time to kill when he wasn't getting jobs to kill someone.

It had been months since his last job and he was bored shitless; hell Spiderwoman was the best thing to happen in ages. He just wished he could see her again to pass his empty time.

He continued peering through the binoculars when he spotted a sight that not only made his eyes pop out of his skull; but his groin tingle.

A lovely young brunette (probably in her mid twenties) was wondering around her apartment in a towel. She had lovely long legs and quite a sizeable bust; and her butt was quite shapely too.

" _Holy shit she's hot!"_ Voice one yelled excitedly.

" _ **Yes she is quite an alluring specimen"**_ Voice 2 agreed solemnly.

Deadpool leaned closer his mind lost to his previous dilemmas; his night had just gotten a whole lot better.

Eventually this said girl walking about in the towel went away back into her room. This made his heart drop sadly. Even if it was only a glimpse she had stolen his heart with that very brief moment.

" _Aww she's gone"_ Voice one whined sadly.

" _ **All the most wonderful things must come to an end"**_ Voice 2 said sadly.

But Deadpool didn't want it to end; he wanted to see more of her. He hadn't seen anyone as stunning as her since Death or his recent crush Spiderwoman. Her body was utterly mind blowing; what he wouldn't give to ride that pony.

His heart filled with sadness as he sat upon the roof now bored out of his face. He was bored of spying now and only wanted her. Hell there wasn't much to do in this town; but he liked its convenience.

Suddenly the doors to the apartment which his new item of affection had been seen opened. She stepped out of the apartment and onto the balcony with a bored expression.

She had long brown wavy-ish hair which reached her chest; her eyes a deep brown colour like chocolate. She was wearing some nerdy black glasses, a black vest (which showed off her ample bosom) and green khaki trousers.

" _So she's the nerdy type"_ Voice one giggled in amusement.

"And I do love the nerds" Deadpool chuckled mischievously. The only other nerd he could think of was Cable. God he loved to go on about the future etc but he was very intelligent; and Deadpool did love listening to his voice.

There was something very sexy about intelligence to Deadpool; it showed that person's capability lay beyond something superficial. He could appreciate an individual who was intuitive and could think on their toes; much like himself.

" _ **Those who are intelligent always seem to be the most desirable"**_ Voice two said hiding some form of embarrassment.

"Basically nerds are the ones who love getting freaky" Deadpool squealed eagerly heart appearing around him.

Meanwhile Eve who was standing on her balcony watched out over the city; she was thankful it was so quiet. After the night she had been through the idea of fighting more crime made her body ache.

However it did get lonely up here sometimes; as much as she loved her space it did get lonely on her own. She had nobody to come home to or anybody to call when she was done with her work.

I mean Harry would text every now and again when he wasn't working but that was about it. She longed for some other form of company in her life to pass the time with. "I wish someone would call me" she sighed heavily her tone sad.

Deadpool with his superhuman abilities heard her from his rooftop. I mean they weren't really that far apart anyway. It was basically about 1 foot away from her apartment in all honesty.

" _Did you hear that?! She's looking for company!"_ Voice one cried practically jumping up and down.

"And we're the best there is to give!" Deadpool proudly folding his arms. He was always the dutiful host and the charismatic charmer.

Luckily the roof wasn't so far away from his current love interest was in reach. He quickly crawled away and used the other buildings to get across.

He eventually reached the rooftop of his beloved brunette nerd. He crouched on the roof quietly taking in her form for a while. God she was so beautiful; how could nobody want to spend time with her?

" _Well we outta introduce ourselves"_ Voice one said in an amused tone.

" _ **Bit late to turn back now; but then again she does look lonely"**_ Voice two said bluntly.

"Ok here we go; handsome prince Deadpool has arrived" Deadpool cooed quietly.


	3. Chapter 2: So is this a date?

Eve was watching out over the city quietly. Her dark hair blew gently in the breeze and she watched the twinkling city lights. For all she swung about the city kicking ass; it really was just more fun to watch from afar. She could watch people go about their daily lives and while seeing criminals she could also see a lot of nice things too.

"Hey there cutie; I heard you were looking for conversation" a familiar voice said from above her. She prayed it wasn't who she thought it would be; but as always she was right.

Eve looked up and just about shat herself; standing on her roof was Deadpool. How the hell had he managed to find her house? She hadn't even given him her number!

"H...How long have you been up there?!" She demanded angrily. Had he heard her say anything weird? God she hoped not. She tended to talk to herself sometimes.

"Not long; I just climbed over from the opposite building" Deadpool explained casually. He wasn't exactly lying; but if he told her he saw her in her sensual shower attire she would kick his ass.

" _Yeah but what about the fact we saw her boobs?"_ Voice one reminded him cheekily. Her very well proportioned; nicely sized boobs at that.

" _ **If the young lady knew that we would be in hot water"**_ Voice two explained firmly.

"Yeah but it would be worth it" Deadpool sighed dreamily. Yes it would hurt being beaten up by this girl; but at least they would be bonding somehow.

"What would?" the girl asked quizzically. God this guy was even weirder than when she saved him from falling. Did he always talk to himself?

"Coming to see you; not every day you meet a nerd as cute as yourself" Deadpool cooed playfully. Death may have been stunning but they were over now; he'd moved onto someone else.

Eve was then thrown through a loop. She was stuck between getting mad at the insult and beating his ass; or blushing like an idiot for the fact that he called her cute. She blushed redder and tried to calculate her emotions into something reasonable. She had to think of a response to say.

Deadpool saw her expression and how she was contemplating on what had just happened. God damn she was so cute; not as cute as Spiderwoman but still fucking adorable. He sat down on her balcony edge quietly; he could see why she would live up here. The view was nice and very little noise from the city; perfect for a quiet bookworm type for herself.

Eve meanwhile was very confused on how she should be feeling right now; this was the same guy she saved the other night that buried his face in her chest. However he seemed to be serious about her because he was putting in a lot of effort to see her.

But then she remembered he had hit on her as Spiderwoman; did he know she was the web slinger? Did he know about her identity? Had he seen her come here as Spiderwoman? If he had she was in hot water.

"You know you're really cute when you're embarrassed" Deadpool teased in amusement. She had just done 20 different expressions in the short time after his calling her cute. He wondered what kind of face she would make when he eventually fucked her senseless.

Eve frowned "Listen other than me before I came out did you see anything strange?" she asked firmly. She needed to know if he knew about her.

"Strange?" Deadpool asked curiously. Well he had seen a lot of weird stuff over time. But tonight he hadn't seen anything unusual just funny.

"You know crime fighters or anything?" Eve asked stressfully. Had he seen her come to her apartment as Spiderwoman?

Deadpool rubbed his chin thoughtfully "Well I was dumped in an alley by Spiderwoman earlier. Other than that I just spy into people's windows and get free TV" he said bluntly.

It helped that he had a TV back home which he paid for the money he got from killing. His apartment was kind of shitty but he used the money for things he wanted. He wasn't a fashionable person or a snob.

Eve felt a wave of relief wash over her; so he didn't know about her being a superhero. Thank god; she would have to beat the shit out of him if he did.

She then became curious of why he was spying on her and what made him come to ask her out? After all while he had met her as Spiderwoman; he barely knew her as her civilian form. "Say can I ask you something?" Eve asked suspiciously.

"Sure sweet cheeks; you can ask me anything" Deadpool cooed fondly. In the short time he had gotten to know this girl she had revved his engine. She was capable of many facial expressions and was a nerd; how much better could it get?

Eve sighed heavily and folded her arms "Why do you wanna ask me out? You only just met me" she stated firmly. If he was one of those fuckboy types she would throw him off the balcony right here and now.

Deadpool smirked cheekily "Well my cute little nerd; I'm the type of guy who doesn't let cuties get away. I snatch em up before someone else can" he teased. When he saw a woman he liked Deadpool pounced; he didn't let some stupid beer chugging, body builder type loser take them. No; only a mother fucking badass like himself could handle them.

Eve sighed heavily but was impressed. He really was dedicated to asking her out in both forms. She hadn't met someone like that since MJ; it felt kind of nice. However she barely knew the guy so she would have to spend more time with him "Sorry to disappoint but I'm not the type of girl who just throws herself at guys" Eve explained firmly.

Deadpool felt himself scream inside; yep she was so his type. Not just a huge nerd but she also had attitude. She was kind of similar to Spidey; perhaps she was friends with her? "I like girls like that; otherwise it would make chasing them boring" Deadpool chuckled. The easy type was boring; sure he sometimes got call girls when he was pent up; but when it came to relationships he liked someone a bit more interesting.

Eve hesitated then rummaged in her pocket and pulled out scrap of paper and a pencil. She would probably regret this later but why not? It's not like anything interesting happened in her life anyway. She practically sat a desk all day finding newspaper headlines to give to her sexist, perverted boss.

"What you doing?" Deadpool asked curiously. Perhaps she was going to ask for his autograph? Why not? He was awesome after all.

"Writing down mine and Spiderwoman's number" Eve muttered quietly. She mentally slapped herself at the last part.

"YOU KNOW SPIDERWOMAN?!" Deadpool cried excitedly. He had just hit the fucking jack pot!

Eve laughed nervously "Kinda; she lets me take photos for her for the newspaper. Considering you just climbed across here she could give you a hand with transport" she explained awkwardly.

Deadpool was on cloud fucking nine; not only had he bagged a cute brunette nerd but now his beloved spider. God tonight was just his night! He grabbed her pulling her into a giant bear hug. His happiness could not be conveyed by simply speaking.

Eve was taken by surprise when Deadpool hugged her; she wasn't used to affection and she was reminded by his motorboat. Her cheeks went beetroot and she could barely speak at all. Eventually she was able to escape his grasp but with difficulty. She just about lost her footing though.

"Thank you SO much! You have no idea how much I have wanted to hang out with Spiderwoman. I officially owe you big time" Deadpool cried fangirling. He was so happy he looked like he would cry.

" _He really has a thing for me; I didn't know people even liked me as Spiderwoman"_ Eve thought to herself. She was used to haters and abuse for saving people; it felt nice to know someone actually liked her.

Hell she was tempted to beat the shit out of her boss for the amount of shade he threw at her. Every day he looked for new ways to call Spiderwoman a villain; it made her sick.

"Listen I'll catch you later Deadpool; some of us have work in the morning" Eve said quickly wanting to get rid of him. If she showed up late to work she wouldn't hear the end of it.

Deadpool sighed heavily; he didn't want to go but it wasn't unusual for her to have a job. But at least he had her number. Slowly he climbed onto the balcony edge "OK see ya cutie" he said winking at her.

That irked Eve; her boss and other co workers did that a lot and it pissed her off. She lifted her foot and kicked him off the roof. She felt bad about if after but since he survived shooting himself in the head a fall wouldn't kill him.

"Such a strange guy" she muttered quietly.


	4. C4: Not giving up

**Sorry it took so long to write this new chapter :P**

 **I've been getting a few requests for new stories recently**

 **Hope you enjoy and please review, favourite and follow**

 **Darkpheonix666**

Eve yawned heavily and unburied her head from the cave of blankets she was hiding under. She was not looking forward to going to work today; especially to face her harassing and bullying boss.

He would have a go at her for being 5 minutes late and then make her work harder than everyone else. While also stealing glances at her butt or making offers to win him over so he would go easier on her.

Eve was not very outspoken; that was a given. But she had respect for herself as a person; she had no desire to use her body to get a better work position. She liked making an effort and working her way up; not sleeping around to get favours.

She sighed heavily and crawled out of bed quietly her bed radiating with her body heat. If not for the bills to pay and rent to sort out; she would gladly call in sick. She was starting to agree with her aunt may; she was too fucking smart for this job.

She would simply have a scrub over in the sink; she took a shower last night after getting in off patrol. Her hair was still clean; and she simply smelled like BO instead of being greasy.

"Saves time and gets Jameson off my case" Eve muttered crossly. The last thing she needed was for him to bother her today. It was time like these she wished she had a boyfriend who would look out for her. But not many people were into nerds; and when they were it was usually just to harass or for a one night stand.

She wondered into the bathroom to freshen up; her wild brown hair flowing behind her like an 80's waterfall do. It was always wild in the morning.

 _ **Shortly afterwards**_

Eve did an awkward dance around the room as she pulled her skinny jeans over her butt. They were comfy as hell but awkward to pull on; they never wanted to just fit over her butt easily. She sighed with content when they were finally fastened and pulled over her rear. At least she would have some comfort at work today.

She then pulled a black turtleneck sweater over her head and tied her hair into a messy topknot bun. She gave herself a quick one over in the mirror before rushing to find her boots and some socks.

"I hate Mondays" Eve muttered quietly. They always brought the dreaded feeling of having to work late hours and wake up early instead of sleep. There was not a single person on earth who said they liked Mondays.

She didn't have time for breakfast so she would have to pick something up on the way to work. Luckily she had lunch money so she could at least escape her boss during lunch which would be a relief. Any excuse to get away from his lecherous company was good enough for her.

Eve pulled on her boots and quickly grabbed a black work jacket before rushing out the door. While she was able to dress this way at work; she tried to at least look mature. While people wouldn't have expected it; she only needed glasses for reading. She could see far sighted and long sighted; but not short sighted so she needed glasses. If anyone at her work saw her in glasses half would tease her; the other half would start harassing her about librarian kinks.

" _I'll be at the train station shortly; it won't take me long to arrive-Eve"_

By texting her boss to let him know; he would be less angry at her when she arrived. It at least lightened his steam for carrying on at her. As soon as she sent it she got an immediate reply.

" _Good; I have a lot of work for you today Parker. So move your ass-Jameson"_

Eve shuddered; she could tell by that text he was not in a good mood. Fair enough being the boss was not easy; but he was always so short tempered with her she nearly had a heart attack whenever he called for her. However sometimes he would sit on her desk and flirt with her; she was only 28 and he was well into his late forties. While nobody spoke up about it; Jameson was a well known playboy and loved younger ladies.

Luckily she was able to brush him off but sometimes she would catch him leering at her; or checking out her chest or butt. The fact that his grin was so damn creepy didn't help either. He was old enough to be her father; so checking her out only made her cringe and gag.

"I wonder what Deadpool looks like when he's checking me out" Eve thought to herself quietly. Upon that moment she snapped out of it and realized what she had just said. Had she really just compared her perverted womanizing boss; to the same merc who buried his face in her chest? Granted Deadpool was also a womanizer; but at least he respected the people he dated.

She shook her head sighing heavily; it was too early for this. The only reason she could think of that the thought crossed her mind was being half asleep. As soon as she passed a decent coffee shop she was grabbing one to go with a snack.

 _ **Meanwhile elsewhere in the city**_

Deadpool was sat on some steps in the middle of the city. It was early so not many people were out. He had just got back from killing someone and was eagerly enjoying his breakfast. Instead of the usual Mexican food he had decided to get a breakfast burrito and coffee. He didn't think he could stomach Mexican after the fiasco he had in the bathroom 2 nights ago.

He couldn't help but steal glances at the note with Spidey's phone number on it. She hadn't been out and about recently; but he hadn't seen her cute nerdy friend either. God the amount of times he had masturbated over a threesome with them was endless.

"I wonder if I'll ever see nerd babe again" He sighed heavily his voice dreamy. He didn't care what anyone said; nerds were fucking hot. While he admitted he enjoyed a woman with a good body; intelligence on a woman was even sexier.

" _ **She's probably hiding from us; she did seem somewhat intimidated by our presence"**_ Voice one explained casually.

" _Hell no; we were in the zone. She was just overwhelmed by how studly we were"_ Voice two chided proudly.

"Got that damn right; no woman can resist these abs" Deadpool stated proudly. Despite the fact that he drank and ate a shit tonne; he had a great body. He was always getting a good work out with his job as an assassin; that and when he became the way he was his metabolism enhanced.

Suddenly as if god had been listening in; he caught sight of his brunette nerd babe. She looked even hotter than before if that was possible. He doubted that she ever had a bad day; she always looked so perfect.

" _Holy shit there she is! And look at those legs!"_ Voice two cried out eagerly.

Deadpool could only stare; he couldn't agree more with the voices at this point. He thought she looked good in the towel but now she looked damn fine. The jeans she was wearing made her ass look amazing. Not exactly a bubble butt but well proportioned and very squeezable indeed.

It didn't matter what she wore or didn't wear; she was just sex in clothing. Hell he bet she looked good in a fucking bin-bag if possible. How had he gone without such a woman all his life?

" _We gotta go say hi; never know when we'll see her again"_ Voice two cried excitedly.

" _ **She seems busy at the moment; we shouldn't cause her problems"**_ Voice one suggested.

"FUCK THAT!" Deadpool cried loudly. He abandoned his items and rushed in her direction. He had to speak to her again before she vanished out of sight again. As he pushed through the few people on the street he saw her disappear into a small coffee shop. Without hesitation he moved faster and followed the brunette.

 _ **In shop**_

Eve stood quietly in line; sleep aching in the back of her mind. It was too early to be awake but if she was late her boss would eat her alive. Fuck being adult was hard work. She had to deal with so much bullshit that teenagers or kids didn't; she cursed their freedom and ability to relax.

She planned on getting a better job at some point; she had thought about taking an apprenticeship in biology. That way she could so something with her god damn brain. Her talents were wasted working for the daily bugle; even if they did pay for pictures of her as Spiderwoman.

"Next customer please" the barista at the counter called politely. She was a blonde girl with big blue eyes.

Eve moved forward quickly as to not cause problems "Yes one latte with chocolate and glazed doughnut please" she said quickly. It was quick and easy to consume; that and it would give her a boost for the next couple of hours.

The woman smiled and asked for the money. Eve fished out her money then handed to the woman. She just hoped this wouldn't take too long as she didn't want to piss off Jameson.

"Hey nerd babe! Nice legs!" a familiar voice called out in a flirty tone.

Eve stiffened and a bead of sweat ran down her face. This wasn't real right? He wasn't really here? God someone kill her now. She slowly turned her head to see Wade standing by the door smiling cheekily. He had a dreamy look in his eyes and was smiling largely.

"This isn't real; this isn't real. He is not actually here your still half asleep!" she told herself anxiously. She hadn't even called him; she didn't need his help so why was he here?

He skipped up to the counter happily and leaned against it upon approaching her. God she was still so fucking hot; but not as cute as when she wore her glasses.

Eve could only stand where she was quietly fear and shock filling her. She just hoped he wouldn't show her up any more than he had. It would be a while before she would ever be able to enter this place again.

"Remember me? It's me Deadpool; you know from the rooftop" he reminded her trying to sound charismatic. A few of the customers and staff gave some weird looks at that comment.

"Y...yes I remember" Eve muttered awkwardly. What the hell was he doing here? How did he even find her? He hadn't even used the phone.

Deadpool gave a cheesy smile; god she was still as cute as ever when she was mad or embarrassed. How nobody had snatched her up yet was a mystery. "So what you been up to sweet thing? You haven't called me" he cooed flirtatiously. When they exchanged numbers he gave her his too; just in case she needed help.

Eve irked a little but held her ground; god this guy never gave up "Well I had to get ready for work; being prepared saves time" she explained. The day he had jumped onto her roof had been Saturday; she spent Sunday cleaning and looking out her things for work.

"I love a girl whose organised" Deadpool growled desirably. Girls who had their shit together were always the hottest; coz they knew how to take charge. God the idea of her pinning him down and riding him made him so hot.

Eve stared at him quietly her face somewhat concerned; how many kinks did this guy have? She shook her head quickly; she didn't want to know.

"One latte and doughnut" the barista said awkwardly. She hadn't had such a spectacle while working before. She felt very awkward despite being a member of staff.

"Yes thank you!" Eve cried out grabbing the items quickly. She then hurried out of the cafe quickly while Deadpool followed. God she hoped that he would leave soon; this was just awkward. He had to be messing with her; there was no way he was serious!

"Hey wait baby girl! What's the rush?" Deadpool called after her hurrying behind her as fast as he could. Man for someone so small she certainly was fast; but her ass looked great from behind.

"I have work; you know like every normal person" Eve replied sternly. Hopefully that would get him to go away. He had to have a life of his own right? Didn't he have people to kill right now?

"But you're always busy; when are you gonna make time for me?" Deadpool cooed hopefully. He wasn't gonna give up till she said yes.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?!" Eve chided firmly. She had simply given him her number for business purposes. He was only interested in Spiderwoman; no guy was ever seriously interested in pursuing her.

Deadpool stopped dead in his tracks and bowed his head; why was she being so mean? He only wanted to date her...and have mind blowing sex with her. Tears welled up in his eyes and a dark shadow loomed over him; why didn't she like him?

" _We just wanted to say hi"_ Voice two whimpered sadly.

" **We were being awfully forward so early in the morning"** Voice one responded bluntly.

"But that's cos she's so cute!" Deadpool whined sadly. She was so cute that he fan-girled whenever he saw her. She was just so fucking attractive.

Eve stopped walking and turned around to face him; he irked and her face flushed a little. She felt bad for making him cry and he did seem to be serious about his previous offers.

She sighed heavily and relented; one date couldn't hurt right? She just hoped that it wouldn't be something awkward. "Alright Deadpool; I'll go on _one_ date. But don't expect too much" she replied hesitantly. She had a feeling she would regret this later on.

Deadpool immediately perked up and smiled at her "You mean it?!" he cried out happily. She said yes! This was the best day of his life! All his hard work had finally paid off.

Eve looked away quietly "Just don't overdo it; I'm not too keen on being shown up" she stated bluntly. She liked the idea of being spoiled; just not in public. If someone saw them being affectionate in public; she would just die.

Deadpool fan-girled internally and danced on the spot joyfully. He finally had a date with his cute nerd girl. Today was going to be awesome. He was gonna think about this all week.

"I'll see you Friday; catch you later Deadpool" Eve said bluntly and walked away with her things. She had a feeling she might regret this later; she knew he would bring this up if he met her as spider-woman. Yep...she definitely would.

Deadpool said nothing and simply watched her walk away smiling like an idiot "Best day ever" he muttered dreamily. Nothing could upset him now...except for jerks...jerks were never ok.


	5. Chapter 5: Unexpected surprises

**I apologize for not updating in a while; I've been writing other stories and dealing with a bit of stress in my personal life**

 **I hope you like the new update and please review**

 **Darkpheonix666**

Eve sat at her desk quietly typing away absentmindedly; she still couldn't believe she had a date with Deadpool of all people. She had done some research on him in secret; just to be on the safe side. Boy had she gotten a surprise.

He was a Merc for hire and worked for anyone who paid him; most of his thought process was money. Be they villains or good guys; sometimes they were a bit of both. However, it was shady work regardless.

Without sugarcoating it; he killed people for money and basically got paid a fuck tonne for it. He had swimming in money and yet ate and lived like a homeless male which she found completely mind boggling.

She also was he was an ex-military man and one of the best; then turned freelance assassin and was a mutant. She was kind of amazed at all he was capable of. Though he acted like a complete idiot he could quite easily take down an army on his own.

She didn't know whether to feel scared, happy, confused or angry; instead she just felt all 3 at once, stopped typing, sighed heavily and sat with her head in her hands and mentally contemplating everything.

" _Fuck my life"_ she mentally cursed. Why did she have the worst luck with men? She could never just get someone did she always attract the wierdo's instead of normal fucking people?

"PARKER!" a loud voice yelled in annoyance. She was here to work not to mess about; if she wanted to do such things she would have to come to his office. She was spacing out more than usual today.

Eve jumped and felt fear run down her spine; as if she wasn't feeling bad enough already her pain in the ass boss had to show up. Today was just a never ending spiral of stress and problems.

Jameson walked up to her desk and frowned; usually she had it together and worked like a whiz. But today she was on edge and seemingly more stressed than usual. He sighed heavily and frowned at her "While I understand everyone has troubles; can you not let it affect your work" he said sternly.

They were still a business and for a business to work they needed everyone to be doing their jobs to full capability. Not sitting around and not daydreaming. They needed to make headlines; especially on that damn spiderwoman.

Eve was actually quite stunned by this; instead of harassing her he was instead being quite thoughtful. It made a nice change for once. "Y…Yes sir" she said politely. That coffee was starting to wear off and she was getting pretty hungry. After all, a doughnut would only last so long in her stomach.

Jameson stared at Eve quietly; she had bags under her eyes, she looked visibly stressed and she worked harder than anyone at the company. He bossed her around so much because she was the best here; that and she was cute as hell and fun to tease. However, he was not completely heartless that was for sure.

"Listen Parker; your no use if you can't work efficiently. Go home and take some time off; but come back once you feel better" he said sternly. The limit he could give her was two weeks as they were short staffed; but he could at least give her that time to get her shit together at least.

Eve blinked in confusion and then her eyes widened; was he…. was he giving her time off?! She couldn't remember the last time she got a break! "YOU MEAN IT?!" she cried loudly but not so everyone could hear. She couldn't put into words how grateful she was.

Jameson frowned "How heartless do you think I am parker?" he said sharply. Just what kind of guy did she think he was? Did she think this job was easy? He doubted she would last a day in his shoes.

Eve didn't reply and quickly saved her work and logged out of the company computer. She then grabbed her stuff and hurried away not wanting to insult him. He was being kind to her which was very rare indeed; she was not going to miss this opportunity to get much deserved time off.

Jameson watched her leave quietly and sighed "I'm gonna miss that fine ass" he grumbled quietly. He then walked back to his office to get more work done.

 _ **Later**_

Eve walked down the street happily a little spring in her step. She had felt really overworked lately and she couldn't be happier to have time off. Now she could continue her duties as Spiderwoman but could relax a little. She could take a hot bath, eat properly, get more sleep and stress out less.

She could finally visit her aunt may after some time; she had been meaning to but had been too busy with work. Now she could finally visit her and see how she was doing.

She then untied her hair pulling out hair tie allowing her brown waves to tumble to her chest. She felt as though a weight had been taken off of her and she couldn't be happier.

"WOOOOOAH baby! Today must be my birthday!" a familiar voice cried eagerly. As if she hadn't looked stunning this morning now she was just slaying it.

Eve stiffened and shivered; was he stalking her now? It seemed she was bumping into him everywhere these days. She turned her head quietly to see Deadpool ogling at her with hearts for eyes. She did wish he would tone down his hyper sexuality just a little.

Who knew a little hair whip would set him off? But then again, he had a number of kinks she didn't really want to know about if she was honest. "Hi Deadpool" she said dryly. She wasn't really in the mood to be speaking to him; he would just ruin her happy mood even if he was the first guy to notice her.

"So, you busy baby girl?! I thought you had to go to work?" he asked eagerly.

" _Maybe she couldn't stand another minute without us and came looking for us!"_

" **Or she could just be on her lunch break or working out of the office"**

"But if she was she wouldn't have done that sexy ass hair flip!" Deadpool growled in arousal. That was something straight out of a wet dream for sure.

Eve blushed; her certainly had a lot going on his head. He didn't really seem to have a filter either. "I…I got some time off work. I had a lot on my mind" Eve explained awkwardly. Was talking to himself a regular habit with him?

Deadpool grinned "You didn't do that for our date, did you?" he teased playfully. Nobody had ever put so much effort in before.

Eve blushed profusely "Of course not! I was overworked and lacking in sleep lately so my boss gave me time off" she explained defensively. For the first time in a long time she could have a proper sleep and eat a decent meal. Instead of eating quickie meals and getting barely any sleep whatsoever.

Deadpool calmed and looked visibly concerned; now that he looked closer she did have dark circles under her eyes. Not prominent but definitely visible. He then frowned and approached her quietly taking her by surprise. From what he recalled she had only eaten a doughnut and coffee this morning.

He placed his arm around her shoulder and started to lead her away quietly much to her shock. He knew it seemed forward but he was worried about her keeling over.

"H…hey what the...?" Eve retorted defensively. Their date wasn't till Friday and today was Wednesday; what was he up to?

"You look pale as fucking ice cream; you need to eat" Deadpool replied sternly. Though was usually bat shit insane he could be reasonable.

Eve blinked and felt her chest grow warm; was he…. was he worried about her? She couldn't recall the last time anyone but aunt may had shown concern for her. A few people were staring but she didn't care; I mean for once she actually felt pretty special. Even if the man on her arm was a dirty minded, potty mouthed killer for hire.

"Are you paying?" she asked curiously. On her budget, she would only be able to afford a continental and not the big breakfast she longed for.

"Only if you call me" he teased cheekily. God what he would love to have long phone sex with her and hear her get herself off down the receiver.

Eve frowned; he was playing dirty but a plate of pancakes sounded amazing right now. She sighed in defeat "Yeah sure" she muttered quietly. She couldn't keep dodging the bullet forever; she may as well bite it and give Deadpool what he wanted. I mean one phone call wouldn't hurt, right?

Deadpool perked up and cried out in joy; finally, his patience had paid off. He could get a phone call from his cute little nerd and a date with her at the weekend. It was fair to say he was beyond happy right now; he was god damn ecstatic. He was finally going on a date after god knows how long.

Today was definitely a good day.


End file.
